Dec 29, 2018
I’m an introvert through and through.
A multitude of personality tests that I’ve taken,
including the Quiet Revolution test and the Myers-Briggs analysis, have backed this
Perhaps it’s genetics or perhaps it’s because I was
homeschooled K-12 in rural Idaho.
Whatever the case may be, I’m “that guy” at busy
conferences who ducks away to my room to go recharge my batteries
every few hours – something I can only accomplish by escaping the
crowds and being entirely by myself. I thrive on
long walks, multi-hour hikes and extended bike rides – usually
I become exhausted at networking events and cocktail
parties and often slip away early to sleep, to curl up with a good
book, or simply to meditate and breathe.
Even at family events, I can often be found off in some
quiet corner reading or strumming on my guitar or
ukulele. As a matter of fact, when I was a child, my
parents had to coax me, persuade me and yes, even threaten me
with punishment, to actually get my nose out of my book and be
gracious enough to ever so briefly emerge from my bedroom to say a
quick hello to any guests we had at the house, after which I would
subsequently rush back to my room and curl up once again with my
book (I’d often read until 3 or 4am and consume several books each
day and night!).
But at the same time, even though I’m completely happy being a
loner, I now go out of my way to ensure that (as uncomfortable or
unnatural as it was for me initially) I spend plenty of time
carving out a couple hours each night for a family dinner and
nighttime family rituals, for connecting with old and new friends,
for attending networking events, for scheduling plenty of book
signings and meet-and-greets, for traveling to crowded conferences
and for actively engaging in local church, community and charity
In fact, if one didn't know better, they might honestly mistake
me for a bit of a social butterfly.
So - aside from my desire to not be an arrogant,
hard-to-approach, uncommunicative @$$hole - why have I begun to
incorporate such a strong emphasis in my life on optimizing
friends, charity, community relationships and love?
As it turns out, there is a fascinating link between love,
family, social connectedness and relationships and a longer
lifespan. I'm about to supply you with a host of practical love
tips to include in your own life for a longer lifespan and better
After all, owning an amazing body and a sharp mind can all be
for naught if loneliness, sadness, inflammation, high blood
pressure and accelerated aging are all occurring due to a lack of
friendships, social relationships, community, charity and love.
This podcast will teach you exactly why and how to include these
important components into your own body, mind and spirit
During this solosode, you'll discover:
-How loneliness, or "social isolation" negatively affects your
- Becoming more and more of a problem worldwide
- Correlated with the increased use of "social" media
- Physicians are simply not trained how to deal with it
- Can affect anyone, anywhere. Not limited to a particular
demographic, i.e. introverts, socially awkward, depressed,
- Affects a person physically as well as emotionally
- Ancestral roots of our social needs; "loneliness" meant the
tribe had abandoned you.
- Dunbar's Number:
- Total # of companions we can effectively socialize: 150
- 12 people in an "inner circle"
- Social media is effective for facilitating community, but lacks
the deep connections you get from face to face
- We don't know our neighbors by name and by face
- We're not experiencing relationships the way we're programmed
- Signals and "vibes" we give off in face to face
-The correlation between smartphone prevalence and
- Smartphone addiction and social anxiety
- Kids who spend more than 3 hours per day on a phone are at
higher risk of suicide and depression
- "Not an exaggeration to say the iGen is on the brink of the
worst social mental health crisis in decades..."
- Is it possible to develop personal relationships via an
impersonal medium made up of algorithms?
- Book: Reclaiming Conversations (link)
- Use of email depersonalizes social interactions
- Emotional intelligence suffers
- Book: I'd Like You More If You Were More Like Me (link)
-Practical things you can do to fight loneliness...24:12
- Book: Blue Zones "The power of love"
- It's more efficacious to give love than
to receive love from others
- Expressing gratitude increases your empathy toward others
- Altruism: Helping others who are stressed helps with your own
- Don't be kind, help others etc. because you think it's going to
improve your health; do it because you want to do it.
- Book: Never Eat Alone (Link)
-The chemistry behind face to face interactions...38:20
- Pacinian corpuscles; travels to the Vagus nerve
- Release of oxytocin (don't have sex before buying a used
- Seratonin (similar to anti-depressants)
-6 ways to enhance your life and longevity with
- Volunteer your time
- Local schools
- Nursing homes
- Coach sports
- Deliver meals
- Throw dinner parties
- Find Meetups
- Church activities
- Renew forsaken family relationships
- Family conflicts engender anger, bitterness, etc.
- Direct eye contact significantly helps to communicate in
- Acknowledge your faults;
- Book: The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Green (link)
- Reclaim real conversation
- Louis C.K. with Conan: Digital conversations are less
- Real conversation begins with solitude and self-reflection
- Turn off notifications on your phone
- Apps: App Detox, Flipped, Onward, Forest
-And Much More!!!
Resources from this episode:
-The Christian Gratitude Journal
-Kion Ancestral nutrients, modern molecules, clean
energy bars and the purest coffee you'll find anywhere!
-Onnit 6 Kettlebell Transformation Program. A
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Onnit when you use my link!
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-WHOOP By wearing WHOOP 24/7, you'll unlock the
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Do you have questions, thoughts or feedback for me?
Leave your comments at http://bengreenfieldfitness.com/friends
and I will reply!